Okay, I am no conspiracy theorist, but I am ashamed to say I have fallen victim to the media’s unattainable ideals for how a woman should look. Remember my post about how waist trainers are satan’s fat suckers? Well, I don’t think they are fat suckers. Instead they are organ crunchers/crushers made by Satan. The Satan part stands true.

Sure, some women may have great success with waist trainers-you go Glen Coco. As for me, I have finally realized why my insides have been messed up and my bowels have been bloody. Waist.training.

I sit at a desk all day for 8-9 hours and can barely breathe and a corset digging into my insides while squeezing my insides. At first I was all like, “Do it for the vine!” But now I ain’t gonna do it. Is it worth having your internal organs rearranged differently from the way the good Lord intended? Well I thought so, but now my answer is no. *sings ‘No No No’ by Destiny’s Child.*

Gross alert***

When you go to the bathroom and you think you got your period, but find the blood came from somewhere else; having a smaller waist isn’t worth it. Let’s go back to old fashioned diet and exercise shall we? Ugh.

Thanks for nothing waist training. There goes $55 down the toilet. Literally

How am I going to hide my back fat now??? This is a real concerning question. Ugh I guess back fat is more attractive then a colostomy bag? OR THE MEDIA WOULD PROBABLY TELL YOU IT’S BETTER TO HAVE A COLOSTOMY BAG THAN BACK FAT. Because the world has fat phobia.

All I have to say is whatever and I hope I didn’t damage my insides too terribly. Bad job by you Kardashians. (Not that you influenced my reasoning for a waist trainer anyway).

Until tomorrow.